If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
