just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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