Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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