He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
