Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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