Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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