I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
