Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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