How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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