i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
