I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
