The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
