oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
