Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
