Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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