So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The beer is more important than you right now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
