Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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