Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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