I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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