Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
