is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
