Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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