Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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