We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
