I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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