A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
