your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know, be my cock's hype man.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
