Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
