he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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