lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
