i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
