we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
