you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
