we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
