You really coming over, don't trick.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You are a genius and a whore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
