Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My penis needs a shock collar
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
