I love black thongs
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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