I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
