Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
