Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
