Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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