you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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