hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
