She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
