Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
