You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
