ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
