the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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