1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
