P.S. I can't hear my feet
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
