do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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